26 Feb 2007

When You Were In Jr High ...

... and you were watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or listening to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, did you at any time stop and think:

"Now THERE are some Oscar-worthy actors."

Who'da'thunk!


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14 Feb 2007

Outtakes

Happy Valentines Day, Slutbucket.

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9 Feb 2007

I Used To Be A Mellow Person

I'm starting to realize that the commute to work, which got longer when I moved, is turning me into an Angry Jen. I recently heard a song that reminded me of what life was like when I worked downtown. I'd often hear that song when I plugged into my iPod and iWalked home at the end of the day. So happy. So relaxed. So enjoying the wonderfulness of the spring and summer in the city (I didn't walk home in the winter - that is crazy talk). People used to comment about how very laid-back I was, even when shit was hitting the fan at work.

They don't say that about me anymore.



Now my day is bookend-ed by long rides on the TTC, and I have to say, it is no way to start or end a day.

More and more, as I encounter people who choose to crowd the doorway before letting those of us already on the subway out, I feel myself getting closer to actualizing my fantasy of sticking out of my fist, shouting "Go-Go-Gadget Battering Ram!" and smashing the crowders apart like a modern anger-filled Moses.

This week, the following happened while I was using the TTC:
* Two people, one of which was a crazy homeless person with a penchant for the n-word and a disregard for deodorant, got in an insane fist-fight in my subway car. Everyone did their best to pretend it wasn't happening and the TTC staff just kind of let them 'fight it out'. At one point, Crazy Guy grabbed something from his bag and gestured that he had a weapon. Weee.
* A giant, long pause for no known reason on the subway lasted 10 minutes. Result? Missed the bus! Got to wait 20 minutes in pee-stink subway station.
* I was about to park by butt in a seat when an annoying teen pushed herself into the spot and then snotted "Hellooooo!" to me. Again, the Go-Go-Gadget Battery Ram would have come in handy.

This is in addition to the usual: People pushing, shoving, not walking on the left-side of the escalator, crowding, not giving seats up to the elderly, etc, etc, etc.

I've tried to turn my commute into a "My Time" experience - with a book, music, daydreaming - but it just hasn't been working lately, and instead I arrive at my destination pissy and pouty, and I don't like the grump I've become. Change is required. Now.

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1 Feb 2007

Monster of the Bride

My art skills just come alive with Paint, I tell ya.

Here is my depiction of a real-life conversation that I witnessed at the recent bridal dress auction:

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I have no shame

Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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