31 Dec 2009

Salut, 2009


It's New Year's Eve ... we're about to meet up with friends and thought a very quick post was in order.

It's the end of the year and an end of a decade. This time, ten years ago, I was in Calgary and the world was all Y2K crazy. Then, we worried that airplanes would fall out of the sky because of effed up computers. Now, we worry airplanes will fall out of the sky because of effed up Muslims. Oh, world. While many things change, you still remain crazy after all these years.

2009 was an overall good year, one that ended on the high note of visiting my parents in Mexico. Patrick liked it so much that he announced a few times since we've been back that he'd like to save more for retirement. Seems spending one's golden years soaking up the sun, doing whatever suits your mood and buying Pacifico beer for less than $1 suited Mr. Byck very well. Fine by me! Anyone who knows me knows that I loves to saves me some money.

What the next year has in store for us, we'll surely discover shortly. Whatever it is, we're hoping 2010 brings even more happiness and health to those we love. That means you!

Happy New Year. See you on the flip side.

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20 Dec 2009

Overheard While ... Holiday Shopping at Winners

In the men's shoe section at Winners, a 45-year old-ish woman is talking on her cellphone while holding a pair of sneakers:

Mom: ... you know those shoes your brother wanted? They're canvas sneakers with the rubber on the toe ...? Chuck Browns?

....

Mom: Converse? Chuck Taylor? Which one?

...

Mom: Ok - well, these don't say Converse or Chuck Taylor, but they look like what he pointed out.

...

Mom: I'm not sure - I don't really see a label ... but these look like what Robbie showed me - but the pattern on the canvas is more, you know, punky. I actually think he might like these more than plain black ones.

...

Mom: Mmm, no. On the outside of the shoe? No, it doesn't say Converse anywhere. Lemme ... ok, it says "Ed Hardy" on it.

...

...

Mom: Whoa. Whoa. Ok! That's why I called! How should I know those are "totally disgusting"?

...

Mom: Fine. I put them down. Your uncool mom promises not to buy them for anyone, ever.

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15 Dec 2009

Things Your Shouldn’t Do While Your Husband Is Working From Home And On An Important Conference Call

  • Burst out of the bathroom with the sound of the toilet running in the background and proudly exclaim, “That took three whole flushes to go down!
  • Pick up the line in the den and start breathing heavily into the phone.
  • Yell, “Hey, did you ever get around to asking your jerk boss if he can finally give you some time off? I bet he won’t give it to you – those idiots you work with probably can’t handle it without you!
  • Blare Goodbye Horses in the next room.
  • Grab his junk.
  • Loudly ask, “Hey, mister, where did you put my pants?” in a child’s voice.
  • Carry your laptop into the room and, just out of his reach, start watching Michael Richard’s finest moment on YouTube.
  • Flick the lights on and off a dozen times really fast. Later explain you were checking to see if he had epilepsy.
  • Pick up the other line in the den (again) and try to figure out the Beverly Hills Cop Theme with the button tones.
  • Take his picture:

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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