I received an e-mail recently from MySpace about my account and my first thought was, "I have a MySpace account?"
I doubt I'm alone there. How many of us jumped on that bandwagon, discovered it was just for teens, musicians and people who write their names like they were Anime characters (e.g. ◊×××♥Äñgêlïñå♥×××◊ ) and promptly forgot the site's existence shortly thereafter?
I went hunting and indeed found an account that I had created and abandoned at least four+ years ago. Even though the picture of me (as shown above) was probably from 2006, I swear I have aged twenty years since it was taken. Oh gah. I need to get my hands on whatever Paul Rudd has been eating / bathing in / praying to that keeps him from looking any older than he did when he filmed Clueless 15 years ago (it's been 15 years!? Oh gah again).
But some things do not change. The only entry on my MySpace page was in the About Me section (imagine that), and it states:
Those who spell it "Jenn":Yep, that's still about right. My dislike for seeing my name spelled "Jenn" instead of "Jen" and my dislike for so many things on that list are still alive and well. Way to be a consistently cranky, self-obsessed bitch.
- Murder puppies
- Send e-mails all in caps or Comic Sans
- Have diaper breath
- Kiss with their eyes open
- Refuse to give up their bus seat to the elderly
- Claim your funny stories as their own
- Choose not to replace the toilet paper roll
- Take karate lessons
- Eat babies
- Think Star Wars sucks
- Buy thong underwear for their 8-year old nieces
- Go to Richmond Street clubs
- Don't yet know how to use an apostrophe
- Enjoy morning radio "personalities"
- Didn't care when Arrested Development was cancelled
- Recently said the phrase, "Think outside the box."
- Always ask what you got on a test, but never tell you their own score
- Televise golf
- "Need" at least seven bridesmaids at their weddings
- Reek of Exclamation! perfume
- Never had a crush on someone that was purely based on their intellect
Account deleted. We hardly knew ye, MySpace.