Random Life News

So, a post or so ago I mentioned that I would be looking for another job. Another job I did look for. Another job I did find.

Seems like only yesterday I was posting about how I was leaving my old job for a new one. And yet, I've done it again.

I've decided to return to non-profit. While I love the people I worked with, my soul - simply put - was rotting away at the old job. I was just putting WAY too much energy and time and brain juice into ... well, nothing. Some guy's big wallet in Korea, I suppose. So while I wish my former employer well, I wish my new employer much, much better vibes.

Nothing replaces knowing that you're doing good.

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Working For and On the Weekend

Oi. As Jacquelyn can attest, work has been pretty brutal the last little while. Sure, we got to hobnob with B-list Canadian stars recently, but besides that, it's been a Quarter Pounder of Crap with a side order of Fucker Fries and topped off with a McSuck Shake.

All in all, it's been a dish made by an evil man in red - and we've been choking on for some time.

In the midst of this, I passed my one-year with the company and was promoted to Account Supervisor, because I am just so gosh-darned super at working on the weekend and holding peoples' purses.

There is, however, a light. We just hired another Account Supervisor (starting next week) who can hopefully lighten the load enough for Jacquelyn and I to sneak off for secret mid-afternoon meetings at the bar and/or Holt Renfrew make-up counters.

In the meantime, I've been putting my spare change to good use:

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Back To It

Today marked the first day back to work. Good lord, it was hard to crawl out of bed and make my way to the subway this morning. There are some people that just LOVE working so much that even if they won a million dollars they'd still have a job because they'd otherwise be bored. Totally. Not. Me.

I do have a vacation to look forward to: Mexico! In February we're going for a week with my extended family as a bit of a reunion. While I'm so, so, so keen on it, I'm also so, so, so terrorized by the thought of being in a bathing suit. In recognition of that, I'm swearing off all booze and sugars until the trip. Pray for me.

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The Clark Kentification of Technology

The other day at work I had to plug my digital camera into my computer to pull off a couple of pictures for our graphic designer. Once done, I stared at the screen looking for that little "remove hardware" icon.

Me: "Do you see that thingie that I have to click on before I can unplug the camera from the computer?"

Graphic Designer: "Hmmm ... no ... weird. "

Me: "Hmm ..."

We both sat there staring at the computer not sure what to do next.

Me: "Maybe I'll just unplug it. "

Graphic Designer: "WHAT?!?"

Me: "Well, we can't just leave it plugged in forever - and it's not even giving us the dumb thingie. Maybe it's safe."

Graphic Designer: "Your call, man. Your call."

Silently, cautiously, I stood behind my computer and put my hand on the USB cord that connected the computer to my camera. The designer and I looked at each other in a moment of scared tension. His eyes said "don't do it" but my mind was made up. I pulled the plug. We both leaped to the devices - he to the computer, me to the camera - looking for signs of life. Both were fine. Some 1980's hero music suddenly swelled, we hi-fived and went out for a Budweiser.

How ridiculous is it that we we warranted in our fears? Many a person have destroyed their iPod by detaching it from the computer in mid-charge. The heart-stopping "fatal error" message PCs slam in your face after just a few misclicks and mis-yanks of a devise have stressed out and provided ulcers to countless.

I remember the days when I used to turn off my computer with it's on-off switch. No shutting down, powering down, or safe mode garbage. Just flicking the switch - one minute I'd be playing Burger Time, the next minute the computer would be sleeping. And the computer didn't mind! When you'd start it back up, it didn't give you a bitchy notice of having improperly turned it off followed by a hypocondriac-esque checking of all its systems to see if anything was wrong (and making damn sure that you waited and worried with it).

I bet those computers from the 50s were super hardy too. You could probably toss one into a flatbed of a truck, go 4x4'ing and plug it back in and it would still be as happy as a clam. Bigger than a refrigerator and only able to do one Grade 5 math problem an hour, but at least it could take a shit-kicking - or in the least - handle being unplugged.

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Anybody Want A Job?

Here I am, one week later, in the same state of non-blog. Sorry, gentle reader.

The reasons are 90% work-related. Things are hysterically hectic - really, you have to laugh at how crazy things are. Seeing as laughing is much less painful (not to mention the fashion aspect) than tearing out your hair, I choose that option of dealing.

The pace and the amount of shite happening has also proven to be most effective in weeding out those individuals who can't deal with warp-speed stress. Since I've started the job (which was Oct 24), four people have quit and one person got canned. Two of the four people who quit, quit in their first weeks of starting. Their departures, naturally, have only added more fuel to the ridiculous bonfire that us remaining folk have been trying to control. Somewhere, Susan Powter's Spidysenses are giving her convulsions.

And the craziest thing of all of this? I'm liking it. There's just so much to do, so much to get done and so much to solve. I loves fixing and organizing - and that's pretty much what I'm doing all day. The HR Nightmare of '05 is just one more opportunity to fix something. It's one more horrifying hurdle that makes victory just that much more sweeter.

So, now that I've truly convinced you of how wonderful it is, anyone interested in working with us? There are openings!

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Uno Dayo Jobo

So, Day 1 of my new job was yesterday. It was a swirl of new faces, new acronyms and various looks of pity upon seeing my confused-but-trying-to-look-enthused face. I wish I could fast-forward this next month and get over the disorientation and just work. Alas, this too is part of that steep learning curve I knew I was getting myself into.

Good news: I have an office.
Bad news: It has no natural light and is absent of everything but a desk and a computer - nothing on the walls, nothing in the room. And the paint colour makes it look like a band-aid.
Good news: It has potential. I do believe I'll bring in my Orlando Bloom calendar and Tiger Beat the place up a bit.

See, I turned that around into a positive. Yay me.

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Goodbye, Sweet Gays

Today was my last day at Job circa July 22, 2002 to Right This Second.

Before I continue, I should explain something about my workplace: it’s gay. No, not in that derogatory sense that kinda describes all workplaces, but actually homosexual. To say my company is homosexual makes it sound like my office is attracted to other offices and walks around particular parks looking at the crotches of other companies in the hopes of a late-night rendezvous. What I mean to say, is that my workplace’s mission statement is specifically about fostering the gay and lesbian community and being about as sex-positive as an organization can get. Of the forty-five people that I worked with, I was one of only three people that was prude enough to consider herself straight.

My job was doing marketing, community outreach, organizing sponsorships, doing events and activities like our Pride float and as a side thing, I also did social aspects for the office (like peoples’ birthdays and the holiday party). I was a busy girl who interacted with a lot of people.

I explain all this now because the rest of these points will probably have deeply confused you if I hadn’t.

So, I present to you – An Ode To My Workplace ...

Things I Will Miss About Work:

• Being in a board meeting and hearing the words “cock”, “cunt”, “dyke”, “faggot” and “ass-pounding” being (positively) used without anyone batting an eye
  
• My most marvelous ‘big boss’ (my supervisor’s boss) who was simply the best manager I have ever worked with and was the kind of person that you want to emulate one day
• All the great ‘truetone’ cellphone rings everyone had that ranged from “Lucky Star” to “Hollaback Girl” to “Toxic”
• Our incredibly, incredibly drunken and fun parties
• Being there when my coworkers won the right to get married (and then watched them scoff at the idea of them personally settling down. In the words of one of my coworkers, “Get married? Hellll, no! There is just too much fine ass out there just waiting for me to discover it.”)
• 90% of my co-workers. What bright, funny, passionate, wonderful people they are.
• Neffer, a baby chihuahua that belonged to one of my coworkers, who would be brought in every week to completely distract everyone from doing their jobs
• Having meetings with people named Sofonda Cox and The Mistress of Pain
• The fact that I had the bizarre power to announce to the entire staff that in the afternoon, everyone will stop working and come to the kitchen to enjoy a cocktail in celebration of it being “kinda fall-ish” - and it would happen! Really
• Being the “office pet” on account of my breeder ways and nice rack
• Being trusted with so much of their company. They really let me expand and learn and grow and become so much better than I was three years ago

Things I Will Not Miss About Work:

• The never-ending meetings that would often result in never-ending nothing (that's everywhere though, right?)
  
• The hardcore lesbian porn that wallpapered the women’s washroom
• Dealing with certain obnoxious, arty drama-queens from the community who had no clue and no desire to know how a business transaction was supposed to work
• Having a legitimate reason to Google “skatting” (and to have Google come back with “did you mean skating?” Oh, Google, you are so naïve. Promise me you’ll always stay that way).
• Being constantly asked for change by all the homeless people (and “home less teens”) each and every day who practically lived at my office doorstep
• Trying to pull off events on a not-for-profit budget
• The not-for-profit pay I got
• The clogging of “my” neighbourhood by gaggles of tourists during Pride
• Hearing Cher’s “Believe” at least once a week
• The guy that came to our lobby and acted as if he had a gun and the two bomb threats we received on account of my company being the kind of place it was
• All the bloody rainbows
• That time that we lifted up the couch to move it somewhere else, and an empty bottle of lube and a broken broom handle fell out from the cushions
• Dancing to bad, bad club music in the middle of the day down Yonge Street in a gross costume, next to an embarrassing float (this float is quite the story that I will someday tell) in front of roughly a million people - while stone-cold sober.

And so, I have left for what I hope to be bigger and better things. Oh, don’t cry for me, Gaygentina. We will see each other again.

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In Keeping With The That Masochist Theme …

I sent an e-mail out to my coworkers along with people that I work with outside the office, and in a truly dumb move, said in that e-mail "if there was anything you were hoping to have me look into for you, please let me know now because I won't be around after Friday"

I have roughly 30 new e-mails containing new requests for me to do. Between now and Friday.

I knew that this week was going to be a bit busy, as I need to organize things and create records of all those everyday things you don't even think about because you've been around long enough to just do it (swooosh), but I didn't really expect to take on a silly amount of new projects.

The thing is, I can actually complete these requests, for the most part, by Friday - but I'm not totally sure if I want to spend my last week putting the pedal to the metal (which is a really "tough guy" way of describing what I'd really be doing - moving my mouse around for several hours). So, I'm left with a conundrum: do I spend this last week kicking ass and making life very sweet and easy for my former employer (but elevating my stress level far more than I'd like), or do I pull the classic I'm-going-to-do-what-I-want-to-do-because-it's-not-like-you're-going-to-fire-me attitude that one gets to have only a few times in their life.

Le sigh, indeed.

Oh – and I totally forgot that today was a weigh-in day much like how I forgot how I was going to try to stick to my eating plan this entire week. Oops.

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Bittersweet

So, I got a new job. Most people know it already, but I wanted to wait until there was an official announcement at my current workplace before I blabbed it here. I accepted the new position about a week ago and gave my resignation then, but the way things operate at my current place means that there’s always some kind of delay in letting people know and getting things done - just as it always has been for pretty much everything.

It’s so weird leaving a place because people start saying such nice things about you, to the point that it kinda makes you sad to leave. I had it good where I work. Naturally, there were times I wanted to throttle people, times that I wanted to burn my desk and drop-kick my computer, times when I whined about needing to win the lottery and times that I was sick to my stomach with the insanity of it all. But today is one of those times that I’ll only think good things of the place.

The ‘big boss’ (the Publisher & Ed-in-Chief), whom I've always loved working for, wrote a really, really nice e-mail to all the staff letting them know that I’m leaving. It was all glowy and sweet and considerate and made me sound like the heart and brains of the place. Then he took me out to lunch and we chatted about my new position, what I think the future of the department should look like, and had all sorts of laughs about the craziness I’ve been witness (and accomplice) to while working there for the past three years. To top it all off, he announced that it was high time that the company have a big party, and he’d like to throw one in my honour. How can you beat that? It almost makes me want to come back just so I can quit all over again.

But besides the little tinglings of sad that I’m feeling, I’m also terribly excited about the new job. It’s working as an Account Executive at a full-service marketing/advertising agency on what should be a challenging and interesting international client.

Along with more cash (duh), this new position is going to give me something I’ve really needed lately – a change of pace and a bit of good excitement. There are things that I’ll get to work on that I already enjoy doing at my current place, but a whole whack of stuff that will be new to me, which is great. I’m already having trouble sleeping at night because my brain refuses to stop thinking about it all, a clear symptom of Keener-itis.

I’ll post more about this stuff soon. Till then I’ll be rather busy with work, wrapping up all sorts of projects that we didn’t intend on finishing until closer to the end of the year (my goodbye gift to them, I suppose). My last day there will be next Friday. First day on the new job will be next Monday. Yowza!

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What Colour is Your Hang Glider?

I recently took an online aptitude test. I've probably taken about six of these in my lifetime, starting at the age of 12 and the number one answer has always, always been the same:

Clergy / Nun / Pastor

What's funny is that these tests never ask you "Are you religious?" "Is your faith important to you?" or "How do you feel about being celebate?" – which I think would be just a bit of a factor for someone deciding if they want to work for THE Man.

Being agnostic pretty much rules the life in the clergy out unless I chose to go on to form the Church of Uncertainty or the Cynical But Cautiously Hopeful Of An Afterlife Temple.

It does make me wonder what about me seems so suitable for the clergy, despite that whole lack of religion thing, so I made a Pro-Con List:

Pros:
* Get to hear people's secrets (not just at confession, but I bet all those pews offer some good coverage for eavesdropping)
* Get to impart advice all the time (wee!)
* Instant respect without having to kill people
* Can make up silly rules like "no dancing to rock and roll music" and base it on something-or-other to do with the devil. Then get into a rumble with some new kid from the city that just wants to cut loose and kick off those Sunday shoes
* All stain-glass, all the time
* If you testify at a trial, everyone HAS to believe you (Mwahahaha)
* I could get people to call me "Father" and later joke "Who's your daddy now?"
* Finally could start identifying with the characters on 7th Heaven

Cons:
* Your friends would feel bad swearing or making sex jokes around you
* Old people would probably always be hovering around you
* Major dry-cleaning bill from all of those exorcisms
* Being lumped in the same pile with the "crazy" church types
* Your parish would be weirded out to see you at the grocery store in your low-rise jeans and clingy top.
* Lots of weekends would be wasted doing weddings and funerals, oh – and that mass thing on Sunday
* Having to keep kicking out those freeloading Mamas & Papas during the winter months
* Would start identifying with the characters on 7th Heaven

You know, that pro list is lookin' pretty sweet. Maybe I need to find me a religion that mostly fits and get those resumes out …

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I Don’t Hate Mondays (I’ll Tell You Why)

Because I have a whole bunch of vacation racked up, my manager is insisting that I schedule some time off. I’ve decided to take every Monday off for a month - and this starts right now. As I type, I am sitting comfortably in my pajamas, enjoying a bit of coffee and really letting my mind explore all the different options and possibilities I have available to me ("... should I watch The Price Is Right or Family Feud?"). Taking Mondays off is starting to rank in Top Ten Of Jen Decisions.

I normally despise Mondays as they signify my having to go to work where I would have to sit at my desk and do my best to ignore my responsibilities until it was time to either eat lunch or go home. Now, I only have to put that tiresome energy in for four days a week. Wee!

You won’t see me talk too much about the office here as my workplace has Dooced employees before. I’m sure I’ll get desperate for stories to tell and start letting loose at some point - because MAN, IS THERE EVER SOME GOOD MATERIAL THERE - but for now, my resolve is strong.

We don’t have any Big Brother stuff happening as far as monitored net usage, but apparently (and this is all here-say as it was well before my time at the company) some former employees were part of a blog/web ring that really explicitly spoke badly about some other co-workers … which was eventually happened-upon by someone that cared about said co-workers … who mentioned it to various management types … who apparently thought this sort of thing was bad for a company's reputation … and, well, yah. They don’t work there anymore.

So, since I still like money, I’ll try to keep my trap shut about the old fun factory - for now - and just enjoy the day.

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