Conversations with Douches

Oh, I've had so many today!

I volunteered at a particular event in which I had to interact with a bunch of people. Some were very nice. Some were complete tools.

A real conversation:

Douche: Hey, can I have a Powerade?

Me: Sorry, these [giant skid of Powerade that I've been tasked with protecting] aren't for today;s event. There's a tent just over there with some cold ones though.

Douche: C'mon. These are right here though.

Me: I know, but they've asked that no one touch these. The tent's just right there (pointing about 30 feet from us) - and they're cold. These ones are all warm.

Douche: Just let me take two. Just look the other way.

Me: Sorry.

Douche: You know, I am a banker.

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What Not To Wear Out

Namely, your lower back.

I destroyed my body on Monday by stubbornly opting to do the following:

* Lifting a dishwasher, by myself, onto a mat and moving it out of the kitchen.
* Somehow maneuvering / lifting a fridge onto a mat, by myself, and moving it out of the kitchen.
* Moving a gigantic pantry, by myself.
* Sanding the walls.
* Painting the walls.
* Installing new flooring.

All in one day.

It's Wednesday night and I'm only now starting to feel less pain.

Don't try this at home.

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Random Life News

So, a post or so ago I mentioned that I would be looking for another job. Another job I did look for. Another job I did find.

Seems like only yesterday I was posting about how I was leaving my old job for a new one. And yet, I've done it again.

I've decided to return to non-profit. While I love the people I worked with, my soul - simply put - was rotting away at the old job. I was just putting WAY too much energy and time and brain juice into ... well, nothing. Some guy's big wallet in Korea, I suppose. So while I wish my former employer well, I wish my new employer much, much better vibes.

Nothing replaces knowing that you're doing good.

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29

Today is my birthday.

It was spent doing very adult things like digging the penis-shaped straws out of my purse (from Julianne's stagette the night before), cluelessly wandering around a Home Depot for flooring and ending up only buying batteries and a chocolate bar and a visit to the Mothership Ikea where we are now known BY NAME by an employee, Mike, in the kitchen department.

Yes. Very adult indeed.

The following awesome gifts have been received:
* Boogie for Wii
* Cooking Mama for Wii
* Real Simple magazine subscription
* A landline phone
* Gift certificate at Gone Shopping
* Lotto tickets
* A pig in Zambia named Jen But Never Jenn

Dinner is up next at Tom Jones (named after the Henry Fielding novel, not the panty-attracting singer)!

Yay.

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