Bittersweet

So, I got a new job. Most people know it already, but I wanted to wait until there was an official announcement at my current workplace before I blabbed it here. I accepted the new position about a week ago and gave my resignation then, but the way things operate at my current place means that there’s always some kind of delay in letting people know and getting things done - just as it always has been for pretty much everything.

It’s so weird leaving a place because people start saying such nice things about you, to the point that it kinda makes you sad to leave. I had it good where I work. Naturally, there were times I wanted to throttle people, times that I wanted to burn my desk and drop-kick my computer, times when I whined about needing to win the lottery and times that I was sick to my stomach with the insanity of it all. But today is one of those times that I’ll only think good things of the place.

The ‘big boss’ (the Publisher & Ed-in-Chief), whom I've always loved working for, wrote a really, really nice e-mail to all the staff letting them know that I’m leaving. It was all glowy and sweet and considerate and made me sound like the heart and brains of the place. Then he took me out to lunch and we chatted about my new position, what I think the future of the department should look like, and had all sorts of laughs about the craziness I’ve been witness (and accomplice) to while working there for the past three years. To top it all off, he announced that it was high time that the company have a big party, and he’d like to throw one in my honour. How can you beat that? It almost makes me want to come back just so I can quit all over again.

But besides the little tinglings of sad that I’m feeling, I’m also terribly excited about the new job. It’s working as an Account Executive at a full-service marketing/advertising agency on what should be a challenging and interesting international client.

Along with more cash (duh), this new position is going to give me something I’ve really needed lately – a change of pace and a bit of good excitement. There are things that I’ll get to work on that I already enjoy doing at my current place, but a whole whack of stuff that will be new to me, which is great. I’m already having trouble sleeping at night because my brain refuses to stop thinking about it all, a clear symptom of Keener-itis.

I’ll post more about this stuff soon. Till then I’ll be rather busy with work, wrapping up all sorts of projects that we didn’t intend on finishing until closer to the end of the year (my goodbye gift to them, I suppose). My last day there will be next Friday. First day on the new job will be next Monday. Yowza!

Read more...

Getting To Know You

One of these e-mail quizzes that end up taking an enormous amount of time...

1. First Name: Jen (but never Jenn)
2. Were you named after anyone? Jennifer is not a family name, it’s a 70s name.
3. Do you wish on stars? If I said yes, I’m pretty sure that would make me a Disney character.
4. When did you last cry? I got all weepy the other day when I heard a particular Cat Stevens song ... maybe I was hormonal? DON’T LOOK AT ME!!
5. Do you like your handwriting? Indeed I do, although since becoming completely dependent on the computer, I find I hand-cramp a lot sooner now when I handwrite, and that detracts from how much I like it.
6. What is your favourite lunch meat? Roast Beast.
7. What is your birth date? September 23.
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Just one? I think I’ll go with Aquarium by Aqua. I think I got it because I thought I could work out to it. Sad.
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Well, I’d certainly want to be, but it depends on how great I was as the other person if I were to accept that person as my friend. You follow?
10. Are you a daredevil? Hah. So. Not. I refuse to run down the stairs more than one step at a time (really – that’s friggin’ dangerous).
11. Who is your favourite cartoon character? Old School: Original Spiderman (he had such cool music), New School: Andy French from Mission Hill.
12. Do looks matter? Only an ugly person would ask that.
13. How do you release anger? A few rounds with the punching bag, man. Ha - kidding. I bitch, like any sane person does.
14. Where is your second home? Alberta, baby.
15. Do you trust others easily? I guess I’d like to but it takes a bit of time before I tell a stranger over the phone my bank account PIN number.
16. What was your favourite toy as a child? A little bear named Bobby. Funny, I thought about him the other night and actually felt bad because I had no idea where he was (somewhere in my parents home, but probably all alone in some tuberware bin, crying and singing that incredibly sad song Sarah McLaughlin did in Toy Story 2). Oh man … DON’T LOOK AT ME!!
17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? For me, personally: Advanced Math. To the world in general: French (Hee!).
18. Do you have a journal? You’re looking at it.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? The easy answer would be a sarcastic one, but everyone expects that. Yes. I’m sarcastic, a lot.
20. What are your nicknames? Muffin, Jennimuff, J-Lo (eck), Slutbucket.
21. Would you bungee jump? Did you see the comment about the stairs? No!
22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? My shoes rarely have laces, so no.
23. Do you think that you are strong? Physically or emotionally? My physical strength is truly laughable. Being asked to carry something or having to run for a bus are two of my greater fears. Emotionally … I don’t get it. Is it asking me if my emotions are strong or my ability to control them?
24. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? I don’t discriminate, I love all ice cream equally – well, except that bubblegum crap or “Tiger Stripe” (orange with black liquorice flavour – that’s disgusting and should be shot).
25. Shoe Size? I’ll range anywhere between a 7.5 to an 8.5.
26. Red or pink? Pink. I’m such fucking a girl.
27. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? I could always use some more cash.
28. Who do you miss most? My family, as a whole (all are in Western Canada).
29. What personality traits do you dislike in other people? Smugness, chronic-complainers/whiners, total bullshitters that think you're stupid enough to buy it.
30. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing? Pants are camel (without the toe), shoes are tan.
31. What are you listening to right now? Nothing really – I guess the hum of the computer
32. Last thing you ate? Popcorn (last night)
33. If you were a color what would you be? I am a colour. It’s beige.
34. What is the weather like right now? Overcast, will probably rain later.
35. Last person you talked to on the phone? Probably Patrick. He called me for no real good reason, as usual, just to say hi. He’s so wasteful.
36. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Depends entirely on who they are and what freakish features they have.
37. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Sure.
38. Favourite Drink? Red wine, because I’m such a pretentious prick.
39. Favourite Sport? Tennis! (again, because I’m a prick)
40. Hair Color? Dark brown.
41. Eye Color? Deep brown.
42. Do you wear contacts? Nope.
43. Favourite Food? Sushi (especially Dynamite Rolls) – this answer also lends to my being a pretentious prick.
44. Last Movie You Watched? I wish I had a cool answer but I really don’t: Monster-In-Law. Poor Patrick rented it for me. I suck. I know.
45. Favourite Day of the Year? Probably Christmas. Not being religious means that I don’t have church dragging it down.
46. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? I guess happy endings, but I prefer the type that aren’t 100% clichés and that rules out about 90% of them.
47. Summer or Winter? NO – Fall.
48. Hugs or Kisses? Again, depends entirely on who’s offering.
49. What Is Your Favourite Dessert? Oooh – so many! Chocolate cake, pecan tarts, Saskatoonberry pie, maple syrup straight from the jug … dare I go on?
50. Favourite Movie? Some Like It Hot, followed closely by Gidget.
51. What Song Was Recently In Your Head? Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby, Stills & Nash.
52. Living Arrangements? Living in sin in a rented 2-bdrm apartment.
53. What Book Are You Reading? The New Brand World. It’s a marketing book and again, lends to the pretentious prick theme I have going for myself.
54. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Gross. It’s a Dell (mouse pad), dude.
55. What Did You Watch Last Night on TV? The Biggest Loser (you are what you watch?)
56. Favourite Smells? My Chanel No 5 perfume, cloves, the smell of fall, candles on a birthday cake being blown out
57. Favourite Flower? Flowers are all lovely.
58. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles!
59. Do you believe in Evolution or Creation? Evolution – as to what started evolution, I have no idea. The Beatles? (No, that was Revolution …)
60. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? Breakfast.

Read more...

If You Own A Company That Sells Things, Please Read My Post

First things first, my weekly, uncool weigh-in: By some gracious Thanksgiving Miracle, I am down 1.6 lbs. I’m now essentially down to where I was a couple weeks ago (11 lbs gone). Completely undeserved, but I’ll take it. I now need to really keep on things if I’m to meet my goals.

In other news (and the part that relates to today's post's title), because it’s budget season at work, I’ve been contacting all sorts of people looking for quotes on all sorts of products and services. It is stunning how horrible some people are at sales, to the point that I’m embarrassed for their companies. I am not a salesperson, yet I’d like to think that if I were, I would know to:

• Use real, complete sentences and not fill an entire paragraph with ellipses and hope that they fill the void that verbs and nouns usually take up
• Spell simple words correctly (I shit you not, in one quote, the rep wrote “I estamate one weak until delivery”)
• Not to send back a useless, info-less e-mail response to my original e-mail that asks me to call them (Dude, I’m e-mailing you for a reason. Respect my chosen communication method. I don’t want to bloody chit-chat)
• Answer questions that get asked (wow!), especially when they’re really obvious and numbered and bolded in an attempt to draw attention to their importance
• Refrain from sending a canned response that has nothing to do with what was being asked. There’s no way that this company or industry is so busy that it can’t customize their e-mails. Or, you know, read them.
• Remember the person’s name, especially seeing as it’s in the e-mail address (although I can totally see how someone would confuse ‘Jen’ with ‘Mandy’, as happened in my case)
• Avoid pretending to be the client’s best friend / sorority sister / 12-yr old daughter by using fake, overly excited language and punctuation marks (“Hi Jen!!!! Thanks so much for your request!!!! This is going to be such a fantastic investment for you, I just know it!!!! LOL!!!”)

Naturally, I don’t write back to these people and correct them of their sales atrocities because that would be bitchy (as if blogging about them isn’t). I just don’t give them any of my company’s money. Haha.

Read more...

Funny But True Stories From The Past #1

I told this story to some people the other night so it's all fresh in my brain and ripe for making it even more public. So here I go:

Back in 1995, a friend of mine was working through a student co-op program in her MP's (Member of Parliament) office. Basically, she had to answer phone calls from the constituents who wanted to bitch about the government. As you can imagine, she got a lot of calls from old people, angry people and the kind of people that believe that anything that interests them, from health care to the temperature of McDonald's apple pies, is a "right."

Anyway, in 1995 Canada was hopping with debate on account of the Quebec Referendum. For those that can't quite remember, the Quebec Referendum was a public vote in the predominantly French-speaking province of Quebec that asked the people if they wanted to move toward a process that would allow them to be separate and sovereign from Canada. The most memorable thing about it was immediately after the votes came in, the leader of Quebec and the separatist movement, Jacques Parizeau, got all drunk and blamed immigrants and ethnic people for the loss, on live television. This was right on par with Canadian politics because getting wasted and making crazy statements is a favourite among the leaders of our provinces.

So that's the background. During the time leading up to the vote a very angry (and probably old) man called the MP office where my friend worked and started blasting her about how ungrateful and horrible Quebec is for even considering leaving Canada. The man continued on and on and on to the poor 16-year old volunteer (who was working for an MP in ALBERTA, not Quebec) about what wretched people these separatists were until he was pretty much spent.

"You know what," he finally sputtered, "it comes down to just one thing."

"And that is?" my friend asked.

"If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for them bastards," and he promptly hung up the phone.

And that, my friends, is the logic of a politically-interested voter. If anything should encourage you to lose the apathy when it comes to voting and politics, it’s the knowledge that this guy and a handful of his friends are more than willing to make the decision for you.

Read more...