I'm Getting All Personal

So, as shamelessly noted on this site, I'm a corporate whore freelance writer who primarily does content for company websites, a bit of article writing and some PR. What I haven't mentioned before is that I also get contracts of a fairly different nature: creating online dating profiles.

Yep. There is a little bit of Alphabetty circulating in the worlds of Lavalife, eHarmony and Match.com right now. And that Alphabetty is apparently luring and reeling in some quality daters. Clients who were getting two "smilies" and "winks" a week are reporting back that they're now getting ten a day. And that attention is from dudes who don't use shirtless profile pictures and from girls who don't replace every "s" with a "z" in their e-mails. Trust me when I say this is amazing. As a former internet dater myself (I actually snagged a huhsband out of the deal), I'm well aware of how ... interesting ... the online dating terrain is.

Let me assure you, everything in their Alphabettized profile is "them" - it's not like I just write a bunch of random awesome features and create a super desirable but imaginary being ("People keep stopping me and asking if I'm Paul Rudd. But sometimes I get Johnny Depp. Weird! Anyway, I'm a veterinarian / heir to the Jimmy Choo fortune who enjoys defaulting to what you want to do while still somehow maintaining my undeniable masculinity. If you like what you hear, give me a call!"). Sha no no. Instead, I ask a lot of questions of my clients and get a nice detailed picture of what they're like and who they're interested in. No generic "I like movies, music and traveling" sentences from me.

Due to the very personal nature of these projects, and the fact that my clients would like a bit of discretion (not everyone wants their future partner to know they've been consulting with a Cyrano-type) I don't post the profiles in my portfolio. Edited: But now I do! Two clients have given me permission to showcase their professionally written online dating profiles. But if you are seriously interested in having your online dating profile edited / revamped / totally done from scratch, I can e-mail you a few a samples and talk options. Just let me know!

Thus endeth the shop talk.

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Goodbye, AdSense. Hello, Alphabetty.

A few months ago, I decided to test out AdSense on my blog. It sat there next to my posts and embarrassingly promoted "related" content like erectile dysfunction pills, Obama coin collections and Acai berry weight loss miracles. You know, all that good stuff that I'm known to write about ad nauseam.

Anyway, SURPRISINGLY no one was clicking on the ads and I was tired of seeing them, so they're outta here. Plus, I'm not big on using my site to promote stuff ...

...except stuff like ME!

* Tired of having to think?
* Is the boss making you update that darn website again?
* Do your fingers trip over themselves when using those frustrating keyboards?

Then you need a Snuggie freelance writer!
* Compact!
* Whisper Quiet!
* Space Age Design!
* Affordable!
* Marketing, writing, PR - all in one!

Heh.

But, yes. I'm finally getting around to promoting Alphabetty. I have samples of my work up if you want to take a look (although some of my really good stuff isn't there - I've had to sign some non-disclosure agreements for a few clients that don't want others to know that they've had to contract out their clever.). Since I work from home, I can pretty much be hired by people all over the place, not just Toronto ... so ... yes, please do exactly that, visitors from the interwebs, hire this girl! The *magics* of my writing, like the type you're reading right now, can be yours - learn how today!

Ugh - self-promotion. Back to the self-deprecation, says I!

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