27 Sept 2010

Crisis Averted

Hey, what's that?

That is my view of a window washer scaling down our building, mere inches from coming face-to-face with me and my apartment.

I'll have you know that he neither saw my pseudo-nude bod nor my ability to gyrate at an embarrassingly jiggly tempo. Instead, I hurriedly closed the blinds and hid in the kitchen, eating peanut butter straight from the jar like a nervous rat until I figured he was gone.

That's right - I am THAT MUCH more more sophisticated than I was just two years ago.

Suck it, Jen Version 2008.


24 Sept 2010

Birthday Pie


So, yesterday was my birthday: the big 3-2. I spent it working on some assignments in the day and then went out for dinner with my dear husband, and later met up with my sister-in-law for drinks. This year, I was treated to a bunch of fun pressies like a retro-inspired apron from my sister (you'll see that shortly!), some fashion jewelry (including a vintage piece) from my parents, a few gift cards from my sister and sister-in-law, DVDs of Community (Season 1) and Mad Men (Season 2) from my husband and a homemade coupon (written in crayon!) for various manly services around the home that I've been nagging the dear boy about. Yay!

I also received lots of nice birthday wishes. I did this two years ago, and thought it might be nerdly pseudo-scientific fun to compare how I received my birthday greetings then and now. Here's what 2008 looked like:

And here's 2010:

Facebook's picking up a bit of steam, eh? We all knew that, what with all of you on it, stalking each other and wasting your days with Farmville. I mean, there's even friggin' movie ABOUT Facebook having just come out (which is surprisingly getting amazing reviews), but it's neat to see how a website has actually impacted how we celebrate life milestones.

... Or this just proves that I'll take any excuse to make a pie chart. I! LOVE! PIE! CHARTS!


19 Sept 2010

Awesomeness, Thy Name is James Hance

I'm a little late on this bandwagon, but thanks to seeing a Facebook photo of my friend Julianne's husband sporting a cool t-shirt (uh, you follow?), I'm now hooked on the tickles-my-fancy awesomeness of James Hance.

I love the Henson. I love the Star (both Trek and Wars). I love a good mash-up. James Hance pushes all my buttons. His site features a cornucopia of art that pairs Star Wars with Winnie the Pooh, Mr. Hooper with Obama's classic campaign poster, Picasso with Bert & Ernie, and more. My geeky, nostalgic heart is squeeing all over the place.

Prints and t-shirts are available on his website ... you know, should anyone be wondering what to get a certain someone for her birthday ... [/hint] [/drooling consumerism]


14 Sept 2010

Overheard: Business Women Having Business Discussions

Two mature women in bad power suits are having a smoke break outside my place:

Woman in Red Blazer (WiRB): Whatever it is, I can handle it. Just tell me what you heard. Are they taking the [client] account from me? Am I fucking getting canned?

Woman in Navy Blazer (WiNB): No, God, no - it's nothing like that.

WiRB: Well, spit it out! I have a meeting after lunch that I need to be 'on' for and I don't want to be distracted by anything. So, really, please, just tell me.

WiNB: Ok, but don't shoot the messenger ...


WiNB: People are saying that your office smells like farts.


9 Sept 2010

A Wee Update


I've been busy with things, but wanted to pop back in to mention that:

1. Things are brewing with my 50s Housewife Experiment. I can't quite say what, but when I can, I'll be sure to holler about it here. Thanks to everyone who forwarded the blog to friends, posted it on Facebook or just read it and graciously didn't leave any of the mean comments you formed in your head. You are all too kind.

2. A long time ago I mentioned that I'd be doing a Modern Housewife Experiment. I realize now that this idea is too vague and too boring (who really wants to read a self-righteous blog about someone who keeps a clean house, twitters about organic veggies and has way too much time on her hands thanks to modern conveniences? Not me - and hopefully, not you!). While I actually do all of the above, it's not anything to write home about, literally, so why bore everyone here with it? Ditched!

Disappointed? Well, here's the jist: Cleaned blah blah. Picked up his crap blah blah. Got organic veggies from the farmer's market blah blah. Read something interesting blah blah. Here's a dumb tip you all already knew blah blah. Oh, darn, I still manged to gain 2 pounds. Blah, insight, blah.

3. I will, however, be starting a new housewife experiment(!) sometime soon - more details will trickle in when I'm ready. Patrick has been briefed and is already rolling his eyes / whining about the details - which means it's totally going to be awesome. Fun at your husband's expense really is the best kind of fun there is.

4. For the next little while (a week or two), we're going to try to eat a lot of the food that's already in our pantry, as I'd like to be rid of it in preparation for what comes next (eee!). This means that in the immediate future there will be some foodie pics and posts of mostly the starchy, canned and packaged side of cooking. Ehh.

5. Look at that beautiful blob of poutine! Regardless of the time or date you're seeing this, you can be assured that I'm yearning for that hot mess at this very moment:

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I have no shame

Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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