10 Nov 2008

Because I Could Use More Vapid In My Life

In the summer, Siobhan and Patrick (mentioned in the last post) moved into our building. It's been awesome having a friend just a few floors away - it's like residence except we have more money to spend on booze. As the cooler weather sets in, so has our tendency to hermit, so having an insta-friend that I don't even need to put on a coat (or, you know, non-yoga pants) to see has been GREAT.

Recently, Siobhan and I decided that we needed to feel more youthful and in touch with "what's happening" ... so rather than actually going outside, talking to people and experiencing life, we had her husband download all the episodes of Gossip Girl for us. Wee!

We quickly realized that Gossip Girl was missing something ... and when you're watching, like, six episodes at a time, it's good to keep hydrated. So without further ado, I bring you Siobhan and Jen's Gossip Girl Drinking Game:

Have a drink every time:

  1. Chuck is wearing a bow-tie.
  2. Waffles are served for breakfast. Double drink if they're being served at Chez Humphrey.
  3. A teenager is drinking a martini at the bar (what ever happened to siphoning booze from your parent's liquor cabinet?).
  4. A parent has a totally inappropriate conversation with their child.
  5. Dan or Rufus reference their own last name (ie: "The Humphrey men sure have a way with being self-absorbed artsy douche nozzles!").
  6. The teens (see: Serena) are somehow allowed out of the house despite wearing an outfit that shows a whole lotta chesticle. Degrassi’s Stephanie Kaye and her bathroom-stall makeovers are practically matronly in comparison.
  7. Chuck delivers a pouty, nostril-flaring sneer that reminds you of an angry drag queen.
  8. Serena sounds as if her jaw has been wired shut when she talks - more so than usual.
  9. Your nearby husband / boyfriend makes a judgmental grunt mid-episode.
  10. Rufus desperately fishes for reassurance and cool-cred compliments by making a comment about being an aging rocker dad.
  11. Little J creates a dress that has crinoline and a dropped waistline (revolutionary!).
  12. Serena gets insecure when she realizes her boy-of-interest knows another female.
  13. A parent discovers their child has decided to jet off to another country and their expression doesn't change.
  14. You’ve lost track of whether Serena-Blair, Nate-Chuck, Blair-Chuck, Nate-Dan or Dan-Serena are fighting or friendly with each other.
  15. Dorota is forced into planning a party in less than a day.
  16. Vanessa is wearing something horrible that involves either a citrus, sherbet or PiƱata-inspired shade.
  17. You find yourself wanting to fast forward the parts of the episode that are about Serena in order to get to the scenes that feature Chuck Bass.
  18. Gossip Girl Non-Subtle Product Placement Whore, Vitamin Water™, is shown.
  19. Rufus makes a reference to a grunge band that you can tell the actor playing him has never heard of.
  20. You get rudely reminded that the star characters of the show were BORN in the NINETIES and you are officially OLD and PERVY.


Colleen C2B,  2:11 pm, November 11, 2008  

I almost choked when I saw the title of the young Humphrey lad's short story about the Chuckster. 1991. Oh, yeah. Channeling some MAJOR Anne Bancroft.

Jen 5:37 pm, November 11, 2008  

Yes. That moment, exactly. We both made a weird barking noise and even rewound the PVR to see the title again to be sure.

Siobhan was at her high school prom when Chuck was being born.

Kathryn in Kansas,  6:12 pm, November 15, 2008  

So using this list on Monday.

Emily,  6:48 am, October 29, 2010  

I too, am an over-age fan of Gossip Girl. (is it bad that I'm 23 and feel like I'm an over-age fan?)

I'd like to add:

21. When Gossip Girl says "Spotted."

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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