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Team Paw: I just don't understand how anyone could prefer a cat over a dog. A dog returns your affections, a dog can be trained ...
Team Claw: But a dog is also messy and can do more damage. Cats are simply regal - and they DO return affection.
Team Paw: Cats can do plenty of damage - and usually they're not friendly. Plus, dogs are far more intelligent.
Team Claw: *Smug* My dear, the superiority of cats just can't be argued. As they say, dogs have masters, cats have staff!
You see, that's not an argument for cats, that's an argument against the intelligence of cat owners. Whenever people say that tired old line, I want to shout, "you realize that makes you 'the staff', right? You've just proudly announced that you're the willing servant to a spastic, crotch-licking, moody ball of fur and dander that is too stupid or lazy to learn its own name.Therefore, I really can't trust your judgment on anything."
I didn't say that though. That would be catty. Arf. Arf. Arf.