28 Sep 2008

Confessions of a Dork

A friend of mine mentioned that she was feeling like a bit of a jackass for something she did recently. It was truly nothing and she shouldn't give it another moment's thought. I've done way, way worse and some illustrations of this have already been mentioned on this site. The "Humiliation 101" tag can conveniently link you to some of my published moments of shame.

But it doesn't stop there. My life has been simply riddled with glorious examples of how uncouth and uncool I can be, and it started at an early age.

So, if you're ever down about something dumb you did, just take a gander at this small selection of personal low-lights. You should feel much better and smarter about yourself instantly:

1. Until Grade 10, I thought the song "Bette Davis Eyes" was sung by Rod Stewart. (C'mon, close your eyes and imagine it - I wasn't THAT crazy to think this!)

2. When I got my very first period, I thought that I had cut myself with the toilet paper.

3. At one point or another, I've had a crush on the following super cool objects of desire: Gilligan, Paul Pfeiffer, Gilbert Blithe, and Data, the android from Star Trek Next Generation.

4. For a very long time, I thought Jimmy Buffet and Warren Buffet were the same person. I'd be out somewhere with friends and Margaritaville would play and I'd say, "Isn't crazy that THIS GUY ended up being, like, insanely rich?" And my friend would stare at me confused. And then I'd say "Geez, don't you read the papers? He's heavy into investments!"

5. My first semi-serious-ish boyfriend only asked me out after he had already asked out two different girls. That day. And had been rejected. And I enthusiastically said yes. BECAUSE. HAVING. A. BOYFRIEND. WAS. IMPORTANT.

Expect more of these in the future!

1 comments:

Foxy Renard 8:05 pm, September 28, 2008  

Oh my god, hahahahahah, this is killing me.

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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