11 Feb 2011

Late Night Eats

Yesterday after a day of sitting around in my pajamas playing Angry Birds freelance work I went out with a New! Friend! for a few drinks at the neighbourhood bar. It turns out that we are both fans of gin. Big fans of gin. So, what exactly do two girls who are just getting to know each other talk about while consuming several martinis on empty stomachs? This stuff, in this order:

  • Weather
  • Work
  • Travel
  • Writing and publishing
  • Television shows
  • The awesomeness of Community
  • The awesomeness of gin
  • Attempts to eat vegan
  • DON'T YOU JUST LOVE BACON?
  • Annoying Twitterati
  • Hatred of the word "Twitterati"
  • "I'm up for another if you are!"
  • Shakespeare Which cast member of Jersey Shore is the best
  • The revolution in Egypt What race Pauly D looks like in person (Answer: Indian. I saw him in Las Vegas and couldn't get over his skin colour. The guy could easily be cast in Slumdog Millionaire II: Wheel of Fortune.)
  • The environment OMG WHY ARE SAMMI AND RONNIE STILL TOGETHER?! (followed by texting and Twitter updates to find out what happened on last night's episode)
  • .... and it went downhill from there, culturally and intellectually, but uphill in fun 
Eventually she caught the streetcar to her hood but instead of going home, I opted to turn around and go to the nearby Metro to participate in one of my favourite things, drunk grocery shopping.

"Oh, great!" said the Metro staff.

One thing my lubricated self really wanted was grocery store sushi. To the connoisseur of Japanese cuisine, the spicy salmon rolls I picked up were the equivalent of eating Fun Dip and calling it trifle. But as you can imagine, I was not feeling too picky in that moment. I purchased it successfully (a small feat) and inhaled it at home moments later. I fell asleep a happy girl.

This morning I looked at the grocery bag from last night and couldn't help but be slightly amused by the remaining contents.

Hmm. A bag or organic lemons and some organic broccoli. Ok - an admittedly odd selection of impulse buys - but overall, kind of smart in the healthy, attempting-to-eat-vegan kind of way.

And then I looked at the rest of the bag.

Oh.

I'm not sure which is least likely to qualify as an actual food item - the can of Chef Boyardee ravioli or the rainbow sprinkles. And an even scarier question to ponder - did I think I was going to eat those things together? Oh, I am a sick, sick drunk.

Anyone else want to be my new friend? I'm clearly quite sane.

5 comments:

Anonymous,  8:50 pm, February 11, 2011  

Hahahahaha. This reminds me of my college days. Thanks for the laugh.

Father of the Monkey,  11:07 pm, February 11, 2011  

Jesus H Christ!
The one really, really good thing to come out of this post is absolution for us. We NEVER EVER had gin in the house so if you have developed an relationship with the demon juniper liquor, YOU CAN NOT BLAME IT ON YOUR PARENTS!! We had every other sort of booze around but never gin!!

Sprinkles and Chef Boyardee were also absent from your childhood. I know it is illogical but I will accept blame for your craving those two "foods" since you had no experience of them as a child but - gin - NO you can't lay that one on us!

Meghan,  8:02 pm, February 12, 2011  

I love drunk grocery shopping!!! This post was hilarious.

MMM,  8:09 pm, February 12, 2011  

Literal LOLs happening here. My husband in the other room thinks I'm crazy.

Jen 10:59 am, February 16, 2011  

Ha, dad - I think the statute of limitations for which I can blame you guys for my poor decisions has well expired!

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