Things I Think While Watching TV

He feels your pain.

The "interesting story" each contestant tells on Jeopardy is hands-down the most awkward part of my day. As the people goofily smile and enthusiastically relay these sad facts about themselves, I'm usually on the couch cringing and putting my hands over my face.

Didn't any of these contestants practice these at a dinner party first? Didn't any of the blank stares or slow responses of "Okaaaay ....?" tip them off?

Since these hanging, Asperger's-esque stories are a hallmark of the show, I'm guessing that everyone has been given strict instruction to tell very specific, but dreadfully dull things about themselves. They've maybe even been promised bonus points if they put on a look that says, "Oh, you're gonna love this one!". It's like the Jeopardy producer in charge of this segment is on a mission to maintain America's perception of nerds.

You know what would make a good trendy-thing-for-a-day Tumblr blog? One that transcribes every dull and random Jeopardy story. Like this (from Thursday's show):

I don't have the time to do this regularly, but maybe you do! So, please, take this idea and run like the wind with it, Future Internet Star.

If you're bored, tell me your own crappy Jeopardy story. Let's share our mediocre moments!