I Am Incredibly Immature

Should I "Daddy Disclaimer" this?

Presuming you know what tops and bottoms are when it comes to sexual lingo, maybe this little tiny snippet from the claymation classic, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town - that I ended at just the right time - will never be viewed quite the same way again. Or maybe you'll just never view me in quite the same way again. It's the risk I take.

I couldn't resist. Jr. High humour never really dies:

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Old-ish Songs That Should Enter More Earholes

You know how you sometimes have to play a tune a couple times before it will snag onto you? I feel like each of these are love at first listen. How is it these songs weren't hugely popular? They're so hit-worthy it hurts!

So let's correct that, shall we?

I'm a bit biased on this one as I pretty much love everything Buddy Holly ever did. For some weirdo reason, "Heartbeat" only reached #82 in the charts in 1958:


I've been crapping my pants about this song since I heard it four years ago, telling pretty much everyone I meet that they should listen to it. It was recorded in 1968 and never made it on the charts. A little while ago I heard it in that weird Seth Rogen mall cop movie and felt like I should have gotten credit for it somehow. The song, not the movie. Totally not the movie:


This song did alright - reaching #5 in 1968 - but seems to have been rather forgotten unless you're already a Donovan fan. My poor old roommate Will would barf if he found out I still listen to this one as I used to put this song on every.single.day when we lived together. And speaking of crazy, is it just me or does young Donovan kind of remind you of Kristen Stewart?:


I love Terry Callier's voice. It's kind of Hendrix-y, no? This track didn't make a blip on the charts when it was released in 1973. Pity.


I think this is one of the best We're-Probably-Going-To-Break-Up songs ever. It reached #9 in 1985, which is great, but it was dwarfed by The Boss's other better-known hits:


Share your favourite underappreciated songs!

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Fill in the Blank

The kisses featured on TLC's Virgin Diaries look like ________________________________.

A) A mother bird feeding a baby bird.
B) An incompetent zombie trying to gum someone, face first.
C) You. Summer camp. 1992.
D) None of the above. Write your own answer in the comments!

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Peppermint Patty Is Not Amused

Yesterday I told Patrick that I was going to make something very special and rather traditional on account of American Thanksgiving. I assured him the meal would be not be from one of the vintage Thanksgiving recipes, so he was fairly pumped. Correction: VERY pumped.

He knew something weird was up when he arrived home and I was playing jazz music.

(This is only the tip of the iceberg of how funny and clever I think I am. It's sickening, really.)

Patrick enjoyed it, sort of.

Until ...

"Okay, Okay ... so what are we really having for dinner?" he said after indulging in my silliness for about a minute.

"This is it. I didn't make anything else," I said.

"Are you kidding me? This isn't a real meal."

"Patrick - be grateful. It's American Thanksgiving and I clearly slaved all day to make this," said Mrs. Laugh Riot.

I was too busy enjoying my shit-eating grin to take a picture of his reaction. He refused to "recreate" his expression, but this is pretty much exactly what he looked like:

And then, through the magic of MS Paint, I can show you what Peppermint Patrick did immediately after that:

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