Reason #93043 To Buy A Car

Just when you think the subway and its riders can't get classier, today happens.

So, I'm riding home and I spot a perfectly "normal" looking couple doing something in public - without shame or care - that I didn't think I ever dreamed of being exposed to.

Before I continue, let me assure any of my aunts who may be reading that they do not have to ban their underage children from seeing the rest of this post: The couple in question was not doing anything humpy.

No, no - if only we were so lucky. As everyone in the subway car looked on in disbelief, the young man held his girlfriend's head in his arms ... while he searched, found, and tried to irradicate (through flicking and squeezing) ... her head lice.

Say it with me:

HUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHHGHHGH!
BBBBLLLLLLLAAAAAUUURRRRCCCCHCCHHHHKKKK!
RRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFF!