15 Dec 2009

Things Your Shouldn’t Do While Your Husband Is Working From Home And On An Important Conference Call

  • Burst out of the bathroom with the sound of the toilet running in the background and proudly exclaim, “That took three whole flushes to go down!
  • Pick up the line in the den and start breathing heavily into the phone.
  • Yell, “Hey, did you ever get around to asking your jerk boss if he can finally give you some time off? I bet he won’t give it to you – those idiots you work with probably can’t handle it without you!
  • Blare Goodbye Horses in the next room.
  • Grab his junk.
  • Loudly ask, “Hey, mister, where did you put my pants?” in a child’s voice.
  • Carry your laptop into the room and, just out of his reach, start watching Michael Richard’s finest moment on YouTube.
  • Flick the lights on and off a dozen times really fast. Later explain you were checking to see if he had epilepsy.
  • Pick up the other line in the den (again) and try to figure out the Beverly Hills Cop Theme with the button tones.
  • Take his picture:


Foxy Renard 10:17 pm, December 15, 2009  

Oh my god, hahahahaha, I am laughing hysterically. You kill me.

Colleen 10:31 pm, December 15, 2009  

Dave and I are roaring with laughter (and trying to play Axel F on the phone).

Shaun,  9:07 am, December 16, 2009  


Unknown 9:09 am, December 16, 2009  

Im pretty sure you can grab his junk conference call or not. Wicked post Jen.

Jen 12:26 pm, December 17, 2009  

LOL! I'm pretty sure boyfriend would kill me... and I'd kill him if he did that to me too! Pretty funny though because I can imagine all of these things happening!

D>D,  7:13 pm, December 18, 2009  

Hahahahahaha! This is so funny!

Anna 12:03 am, November 27, 2010  

Can I add "shoving a positive pregnancy test in his face" to the list? Not that I've ever done anything like that, of course. Nope. Not me.

Rev. Thomas H. Harbold 1:56 pm, April 19, 2023  

Yeah, I can pretty much see where doing these things might not be exceptionally helpful, in most circumstances...! ;-)

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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