21 Mar 2011

A Crappy Start To The Week, Almost

This morning I decided to take care of a laundry basket of "stuff" that we had put to the side. It was a random collection of odds and ends that included a bag of first-aid materials, a mini chandelier that we had intended to install ages ago, some pens, iPod chargers and - when I lifted the chandelier - discovered this as among the stuff as well:


My heart sank and my bile rose. It appeared that Mickey was back and more fibre-loaded than ever.

If you've read my blog for a while, you'll recall that we had "issues" a couple years ago with a mouse and its baby. Barftastic issues. And now, despite the fact that I had been upkeeping the cleanliness of my home to freakish-for-me standards thanks to the 50s Housewife Experiment, it appeared that our problem was back.

Mouse droppings can impact your health, so I took no chances: I donned a little face mask, strapped on the rubber gloves and - instead of going for my usual pansy-ass green cleaning products - I took out The Deadly Stuff. Sorry, environment, but I have shit to deal with.

So, as I'm cleaning and grossing myself out (Random Jen Fact: I have a very active gag reflex), I'm looking at the non-poop contents of the basket to determine if I can can clean them or should just chuck them. And then I notice something. I feel relieved and idiotic at the same time (the perfect combination for a blog post). Behold:

Here I was dressed like one of those guys who experimented on E.T., spraying harsh chemicals around, gagging away - all because of a spilled packet of chive seeds.

Let this be a lesson to anyone who takes me seriously: I am absurdity incarnate.

10 comments:

anissa 12:54 pm, March 21, 2011  

It did look like mouse droppings!

Janice 1:18 pm, March 21, 2011  

I guess I have had more experience with mouse droppings - an probably dead mice - than you. My first thought when I saw the picture was that that was not mouse droppings. Glad I was right. As you already know, mice and their droppings, and their remains, are not nice to deal with!

Anonymous,  1:27 pm, March 21, 2011  

I thought those were little bugs. I'm not sure what's grosser, finding a bunch of bugs or a bunch of mouse shit. Chive seeds are definitely better than either.

simplify411 1:46 pm, March 21, 2011  

That is freakin' hilarious!

Father of the Monkey,  1:58 pm, March 21, 2011  

I thought I taught you better than this! When in doubt, taste!

Meg G 3:15 pm, March 21, 2011  

I just recently found your blog and I am so happy I did. This post first made me terrified for you then made me literally laugh out loud. It also put the fear of mice into me, so now there's that.

Beth 5:07 pm, March 21, 2011  

I would have thought exactly the same thing! I had a similar experience, but with real mice, and it was gross. They lived in the walls of my horrendous post-university hovel, and often hung out in my non-functioning stove or in the doorway framing. When I moved out, I lifted a similar laundry basket of stuff to find poo everywhere.(Yes, it was a REALLY GROSS apartment.) So relieved that yours was a tasty seed, instead.

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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