How To Woo Me

With a Canadian election on, I should probably be talking about that - but there is something much more important to discuss: a gum commercial.

Excel has these rather cute spots that show animated food items following people around - suggesting that the things you eat linger in your breath until you kill them by brushing your teeth chewing Excel gum. Here are two commercials from the series. The first one aired years ago (random trivia: the subway station it was filmed in, Dupont, was right next to our first home) and the second ad just started airing last month:





Adorable, no?

So, I get the coffee breath, the onion breath, the garlic breath - but doughnut breath?

I'm not saying it couldn't happen. My point is this: why would you ever want to get rid of it? Doughnuts smell amazing - even when in someone else's mouth.

This may be revealing too much, but if someone was speaking to me and had doughnut breath, it would probably act as a pheromone. I would totally creep in closer, lean into them, and the rest of the world would fall away. The person could be saying the most vile, racist, horrible things, and I'd be enamored, encouraging him to go on. ("You know, I just love it when you say 'homosexuals'. Can you say it again? Hhhhhhomosexuals. And where was it you said they were going? Hhhhhell?")

Other people think these things too, right?