Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

This weekend Patrick and I took in our first wedding show, Canada's Wedding Expo. While we have a good sense of what we'd like to do, I figured it wouldn't hurt to check it out to see if I could get some more ideas and enter in a few draws.

Lemme tell ya, if you're interested in a wedding that involves white limousines, tulle, dove releases, heart-shaped anything and Macarena-playing DJs, wedding shows are for you. I'm sad to report that I didn't get many ideas and while I entered in a bunch of draws, I'm certain that all I'll win is spam.

But not all was lost - plenty of blogging material was gained. Some highlights / lowlights:

• Chocolate fountains. Tasty! But watching the people clamouring around them and the mess they were making with strings of chocolate slopping everywhere, I could just imagine how much worse it would be if those people were the hammered guests of our open-bar wedding. Mud wrestling comes to mind.
• The Fake Bono. At one point, an announcer came on to get everyone's attention. Then on the jumbo-screens, there were a bunch of security officers "protecting" someone. "Is it? Ladies and Gentlemen - is it? Is it really him? Yes, yes, it's BONO EVERYONE!" exclaimed the announcer. Walking through the seated crowd (if crowd = 30 or so people) was a Bono-lookalike, waving and not getting that much of a response. He then took to the stage to sing some U2 classics while everyone looked embarassed and tried to muffle giggles when his notes went way off key during "With Or Without You".
• The Vengabus is Coming. This is the song that was being played by not one but two DJ booths we walked by. Scarily enough, some people paused to chat with them.
• Solicitation. Lots of it. The best one was from a woman representing a spa who stopped me to suggest that I was a "great candidate" for laser hair removal. Super!

You'd think my review would mean this was the first and last wedding show I'd be going to, but no, I am a glutton for horrifying experiences. Julianne, a friend I know through Will, is recently engaged and we agreed to go to the next big show, The National Bridal Show together. It's free for brides and is rumoured to showcase a Fake Bryan Adams performance. How could I say no to that?