14 Jan 2007

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

This weekend Patrick and I took in our first wedding show, Canada's Wedding Expo. While we have a good sense of what we'd like to do, I figured it wouldn't hurt to check it out to see if I could get some more ideas and enter in a few draws.

Lemme tell ya, if you're interested in a wedding that involves white limousines, tulle, dove releases, heart-shaped anything and Macarena-playing DJs, wedding shows are for you. I'm sad to report that I didn't get many ideas and while I entered in a bunch of draws, I'm certain that all I'll win is spam.

But not all was lost - plenty of blogging material was gained. Some highlights / lowlights:

  • Chocolate fountains. Tasty! But watching the people clamouring around them and the mess they were making with strings of chocolate slopping everywhere, I could just imagine how much worse it would be if those people were the hammered guests of our open-bar wedding. Mud wrestling comes to mind.
  • The Fake Bono. At one point, an announcer came on to get everyone's attention. Then on the jumbo-screens, there were a bunch of security officers "protecting" someone. "Is it? Ladies and Gentlemen - is it? Is it really him? Yes, yes, it's BONO EVERYONE!" exclaimed the announcer. Walking through the seated crowd (if crowd = 30 or so people) was a Bono-lookalike, waving and not getting that much of a response. He then took to the stage to sing some U2 classics while everyone looked embarassed and tried to muffle giggles when his notes went way off key during "With Or Without You".
  • The Vengabus is Coming. This is the song that was being played by not one but two DJ booths we walked by. Scarily enough, some people paused to chat with them.
  • Solicitation. Lots of it. The best one was from a woman representing a spa who stopped me to suggest that I was a "great candidate" for laser hair removal. Super!
You'd think my review would mean this was the first and last wedding show I'd be going to, but no, I am a glutton for horrifying experiences. Julianne, a friend I know through Will, is recently engaged and we agreed to go to the next big show, The National Bridal Show together. It's free for brides and is rumoured to showcase a Fake Bryan Adams performance. How could I say no to that?


Lexy 10:11 am, January 15, 2007  

Wedding shows are like a car crash. No good can come from them, but you can't help but look

Kristi Parsons 11:07 am, January 15, 2007  

I can completely relate to this! I can't stand the shows but keep going to them because "maybe I will find something useful this time..." It's awful! There are some trashy brides out there too - a lot of pushing and shoving can go on at some of these things... scary! I leave feeling depleted of energy, oxygen and all desire to tie the knot...

Foxy Renard 9:22 pm, January 15, 2007  

Buahahh, I love the face you are making.

The Vengabus is commmming! And everybody's jummmmping!

This may be even funnier than Bono.

Jen 12:56 pm, January 16, 2007  

You're right, Lexy,, I'm sickly giddy for the next one (and WHERE have you BEEN, lately!?!). I think I'm going to have to try to take more pics when I'm there. Hee.

The defeat you describe, Kristi, is Patrick's reaction to the show, simply upon entering. He was only mildly revived when realized there were free cake samples.

Christie 8:51 pm, January 16, 2007  

I don't know whether to be happy or sad that my engagement was so short that I missed the "experience" of a wedding show. At this point, I think I'm pretty happy about it. :p

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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