20 Mar 2007

THE SECRET ...

... to being slim and cute ...

Ha - for a second, Jacquelyn was going to press the Comment button and continue her daily rage about The Secret - the world's lamest "new-age" trend. Alas, that is not what this post is about.

Today, we celebrated a birthday in our office in the only way North Americans know how to celebrate birth - lighting waxed items on fire and placing them on sugared, baked goods. In other words, a birthday cake, for all to enjoy.

So, anyway, I'm munching away ... lalala, bliss bliss, forgeting the hell that is my existence, eat, eat, eat ... when I notice that the office sprites, two young, exceptionally slender, cute girls that remind everyone of enchanting wood fairies except that they have a flair for marketing (and one of whom has a blog and appears now and again on MTV), have left half their cake behind. The good end, mind you, the awesome ass end. If for some reason you are filled with crazy and don't understand, this is end I speak of (many thanks, again, to Paint, the light of my design life, for making this graphic possible):
So ... looking content (or trying to look content, I can't tell), they stand up, ditch the beloved cake ass into the garbage and leave the room. BLASPHEMY. For me, eating the cakey part is practically torture. I trudge through it, saving the icing caboose as a reward ... you know, for all my hard cake-eating work.

And this rationale, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am the blessed "curvy" size that I am.

Sigh.

10 comments:

Foxy 11:28 pm, March 20, 2007  

I'm going to guess that those two cuties didn't just put the thought into the universe, huh?

I just thank the lord I wasn't there this afternoon.

Paige 8:04 pm, March 23, 2007  

NOooooo I tried to stuff as much into my mouth as possible!
But you see, B and I had just returned from lunch, where I consumed a 9 inch Quiznos sub and a McDonalds half-choc-half-stawberry sundae.

I was sad/surprized to toss the cake too; my college nicname was Jabba for a reason...

Foxy 4:50 pm, March 28, 2007  

Buahahaha, awesome. See, Jen, we can't blame ourselves!

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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