14 Dec 2011

Our Half-Assed 1950s Christmas & Why I'm Going to Ohio Next Year

Of all the places in the world that are on my travel wishlist, I can't pretend Columbus, Ohio was included - until now. Thanks to my Twitter friend Jodi, I've just learned that this fall the Ohio Historical Foundation plans to unveil a fully functional, totally authentic, super dreamy 1950s home as part of a project to educate people on how Ohioans lived in that decade. I have a feeling that if I walked into this, I'd go into full-blown 50s Housewife Experiment mode faster than you can say "sleeper cell":


But that's nearly a year away ... what am I up to now? Getting out the holiday decorations, of course! As you might recall, we did a 1950s Christmas last year, so I was all jazzed to break out the vintage and vintage-inspired holiday décor again this year.

Alas, a small and very gross-looking problem was revealed when I took out the paper garland:

When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst ...

Blarf. Perhaps someone out there who has more than a foggy Grade 11 understanding of chemistry can help explain this, but it seems like the glue holding the white pieces of crepe paper together oxidized (?) into a most unfortunate colour. And since the song does not say "deck the halls with boughs of shit stains", I decided not to use these. To quote The Great and Powerful Snooki: Waaah.

Thankfully, my darling aluminium (or aluminum - as spelled on the packaging) tree and mercury glass ornaments appeared free of anything that could be interpreted as a bodily secretion:

We rearranged the furniture so that I could put the vintage Christmas tree in the window as to ensure the neighbours knew that we were the weirdos on the block. Mission accomplished:

And with the colour wheel and rotating stand flipped on, it just gets better and better. Every time I turn those on, this song goes off in my head. Camp-a-rific!:

(You can see the tree in motion in this nerdtacular video I created last year.)

Our Putz village, compliments of the workers in "Occupied Japan", also made a reappearance. I should really get some white-wired lights instead of these green-wired ones; it sort of looks like my village is surrounded by festive barbed wire. Ah well, but I like it all the same:

And besides that stuff and a few vintage angels and a bottle-brush tree strewn about here and there, that's the extent of my holiday decorating.


Well - I'll probably do a bit more for our big dinner on Saturday, but I can't say I'll bother with this interesting find from the December 1957 issue of Better Homes and Gardens:

Nothing says "happy birthday, Baby Jesus" like a pineapple made of newspaper. Or a flaming turkey ushered in with a song. Or a flaming cabbage at a cocktail party. Ah, the things you learn.


Hello Jodi 1:53 pm, December 14, 2011  

Well you would both have a place to stay if you come! There are a surprising amount of fun things to do here. And maybe we can follow you back and take a tour of forgotten Detroit.

Anonymous,  2:00 pm, December 14, 2011  

I love your tree! It's so cheerful!

Karen 4:11 pm, December 14, 2011  

As always, a neat update!

Lacey,  7:38 pm, December 14, 2011  

Ok, not to be stalkery, but would you really want to do a roadtrip with people to this, because I'd be up of it? that could be so fun! ohio!

Anonymous,  4:11 pm, December 19, 2011  

Thanks for the link about the Ohio show. I may have to get there, too, to check it out -- I love Lustrons! There are quite a few where I live (Madison, Wisconsin). In fact, one is currently on the market and has been sitting there for a while... I hope it does eventually sell to someone who appreciates it for what it is and keeps it up. (Here's the listing in case anywhere out there in the Midwest is house-shopping: http://wisconsinhomes.com/listing/1613798?o=3) It has a nifty built-in desk in one of the bedrooms.

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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