11 Nov 2005

Appreciate Me, Dammit!

So, you know of this gym thing I am doing, right?

Well, I don't normally go two days in a row but I was lured into doing it recently. The other night when I went, I was told "Don't forget about Member Appreciation Day, tomorrow!" and was handed a little flyer.

On this bright green piece of fun lay two words that distinctly got my attention: Complimentary Refreshments.

I cannot possibly tally how many functions I have attended because of the complimentary refreshments. I've done boring art shows, bad store openings, random social gatherings ... all in the name of spinach dip. The number would be staggering. Finger food, drinks, samples - I love it like a hillbilly loves his cousin.

The mere thought of whatever dinky food and drink the gym was planning had totally sold me on coming in. I literally got up at freakin' 6am just to enjoy whatever shit they had. I endured the early morning transit rush, got to the gym and found a elliptical machine and got going, all the while scanning the room. First, I saw someone come in with a bunch of balloons. "Good," I thought "very good - it's starting" another ten minutes of sweat passed and I saw the staff members bring in a table to the area. "Excellent - all the better to place the refreshments," I thought.

AND THEN .... nothing. Nadda. They put some fucking brochures on the table and put up a sign advertising that their rip-off exercise clothing was on sale.

Where were the cute sandwiches? Nicely sliced fruit? Cheese squares? Dammit, I wanted to be appreciated via Complimentary Refreshments!!!

What's the freakin' point of coming for a workout if I'm not going to scarf down crap afterward?

2 comments:

Ferda 11:15 am, November 11, 2005  

like a hillbilly loves his cousin!!! Too funny, I'm so stealing that.

pam,  5:00 pm, November 12, 2005  

You should have told them you would like take your refreshement to go :P

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