6 Nov 2005

The Thing You Should Never Assume About A Woman

Today I spent much of the afternoon partaking in my favourite hobby - shopping. What is it about consuming that I love so much?

I had grabbed a few items and was waiting in line at a change room when I was witness to one of those horrible things that you can't believe still happens in today's day and age. There are certain things that you figure all women realize is a no-no, and yet it occured today in the most disturbing of ways. I will explain:

A woman (maybe early thirties) stepped out of her change room and caught the attention of a sales clerk. I was still waiting in line, but was in the direct line of sight for the exchange.

Woman In The Change Room: Hi, um, would you be able to find me these pants [ed note: she was wearing them] in a size smaller please?

Sales Clerk: You sure?

The woman seemed a bit taken aback by this and hesitates. My heart stopped.

Woman In The Change Room: Yes ... um, I mean, if it isn't too much trouble.

Sales Clerk: (giddy and smiling) Heehee - oh no, no trouble! I just meant you might want to keep the size you have on now so that you can still wear it in a few months!

The woman looked even more baffled and started to flush. I didn't understand what the sales clerk meant but it sounded 100% awful and I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Woman In The Change Room: Umm ... I think I'd still like to see the smaller size, I think they'll fit better.

Sales Clerk: If you say so, but I know your little secret! I can always tell!

At that, the sales clerk patted the woman's little gut and smiled and went to go get her the requested size.

The woman was frozen for a second in complete and utter confusion and then it hit both of us at the same time: the sales clerk mistook her to be pregnant.

The woman made a little gasping noise and scuttled back into her change room and I could hear her frantically taking off the pants and presumably putting her own clothes back on in order to get the fuck out of there. I was shown my own change room at that point, so I didn't see her leave, but I know she did before the freak sales clerk returned because she was calling for her without answer.

I still feel horrible for that woman, and had I been able to do anything for her I would have - although I think the best thing I could have done was act as if I was not witness to her nightmare (which I really tried to do, really. Tried).

Why is it that some people think it's ok to guess/ask if people are pregnant?!?! I won't even give up my subway seat unless the woman does the obvious Yes-I'm-pregnant-so-get-the-fuck-up-and-let-me-sit-down moves: She puts her hand on her lower back to indicate it's sore and puts the other hand on/under her tummy in a protective way. That is the universal sign for pregnant. If you do not see it, do not assume. Ever!!!

Wherever you are Woman In The Change Room, I'm sorry you encountered such idiocy. You didn't look pregnant, and I agree that you could have gone down a size in your pants. Maybe even two.


Anonymous,  9:17 am, November 07, 2005  

ouch, what store was it?

Jen 4:19 pm, November 07, 2005  

The Bay (at Bloor & Yonge).

Anonymous,  5:35 pm, November 20, 2005  

Alright missy, this is the first time I've read your blog, and so far, it's decent. Ok, ok, so I'm thrilled to have found it, cause it'll give me something else to do on work slow days. :)

Anyhow, I literally gasped out loud when I read that story, and spent half the story making a guppy face. I will now reset my chin to its upright position. Some people need to be shot. Or kicked. Possibly both.

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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