26 May 2011

The Reveal! Buy My Amazing Downtown Toronto Condo!

Our condo will officially be on the market today! Want to see what a few years of slow renovations and a few days of frantic cleaning will do to a place? Here are some pictures (and you know how I "joke" about living in an IKEA showroom? See if you can count all the IKEA stuff in these pictures. It's humiliating!).

Our entrance:

The loo:

The kitchen:

As you know, I find cupcakes a tad overrated, and so I went with a simple glazed donut display instead. It's as much a political statement on desserts and a show of my support of the pro-donut movement as it is a mouth-watering feature:

And while Patrick became rather enraged over the time I was wasting "doing that shit" gently questioned whether it was worth it, I also made sure the insides of our cupboards were enticing to the more investigative potential buyers:

The dining area:

The living room:

The den:

The boudoir:

Lovely, yes?

While we tried to neutralize the place as much as possible, there are still little hints of our personality here and there. I couldn't help it:

I'm just glad that it isn't customary to post pictures of the owners along with their property. Ours would NEVER sell. Over the last few days, I've been looking more and more like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in a Land's End dress and a pedophile pin. Can't envision that? Here you go; my MS Paint wizardry is at your service:

Kinda not kidding. You can't tell me there isn't a certain resemblance between KSM's tired I-hate-this-shit frown and the unhappy and bagged look I get now and again.

And that's on the days that I bothered to acknowledge that I was a female. Most of the time I wore a "working around the house" outfit that is about two degrees worse than what most people wear camping but one degree better than what most people wear to Walmart.

But I digress (imagine that).

Should you be a serious buyer looking for an updated, awesomely laid out 1 bedroom + den apartment with very reasonable condo fees in the most amazeballs neighbourhood in Toronto where the Financial District and the St. Lawrence Market meet, do contact my real estate agent and book an appointment!


Rebeka 4:12 pm, May 26, 2011  

That is a very nice and well-staged condo, and in a great location near Spouse's workplace, too! I would definitely be Seriously Interested if only we had enough of a downpayment saved up, but instead we've been focusing on getting the student loans paid off instead of coaxing the savings account to break 5 figures. Alas. Doomed to still be renting at 40.

Karen 4:30 pm, May 26, 2011  

Wow - that's super nice! And what a kick-ass area, too! We're not in the position to buy something, but I'll happily pass this along to friends who might be!

Anonymous,  5:02 pm, May 26, 2011  

instead of bowl of mints, i would have chosen a bowl of mini marshmellows, but you can always swap it if you want to drum up more offers. good luck sista!
-the new Mrs. K.

weenie_elise 8:18 pm, May 26, 2011  

looks fah-bulous!

Don't remove yourselves entirely - one of the things I loved about when we bought our place was that the previous owners had exactly the same books that I did, so I could really see myself living in the house.

Lauren 5:09 am, May 27, 2011  

Wow, that looks like a magazine home. Tell me half your possessions are in storage? I hope you get a good price, Ikea or no, it's a very inviting home!

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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