29 Sept 2011

Updates From A Delinquent Blogger

Heyo. It's been a little while, eh? The Internet just isn't the same without my Doogie Howser-esque need to relay the minute and unimportant details that is my life, so here's what you missed over the past week:

A) I got banged!

After a few weeks of folding my hair and staring at myself in the mirror, I decided to make THAT BIG GIRLIE DECISION and get bangs - but this time I kept the rest of my hair long rather than going for a bob. The darlingness of Zooey Deschanel in New Girl may or may not have contributed to that decision.

B) I got older!

As is my birthday custom, here's a pie chart where I've turned peoples' nice actions of wishing me a happy birthday into cold, heartless data:

I wonder how much Hallmark hates Mark Zuckerberg.

I was gifted with all kinds of wonderful things like a dinner out at Allen's, a new Janome sewing machine (EEEE!!!!!!) from Patrick, some Basque linens from my France-ified sister, some nice serving trays from my mother-in-law, lovely sewing supplies, Season Two of Community on DVD and a Chatelaine subscription from my parents. Am I spoiled - and super domestic - or what?

C) I got lighter!

I've lost of total of 12 lbs. since embarking on my Eat Less Crap Diet. Mind you, that's before I did a faceplant into the Dairy Queen ice cream cake we got for my birthday ... but I'm sure that damage was minimal-ish and not the start of a DQ Blizzard Addiction. Heh.

D) I got grossed out!

Our toilet leaked through the floor, causing a major stain on our kitchen ceiling. We were lucky it hadn't dripped all the way through. We spent the morning of my birthday with a plumber who determined this was a problem that had been forming for years, only to make itself known that day. Which was terrific timing as ...

E) I got parented!

My parents, The Father of the Monkey and Sweet Marie, flew in to visit us for five days to check out our new home and help ring my birthday in. There is nothing that says "I'm An Adult Who Makes Great Real Estate Choices" like having your parents walk into your house that has a toilet on the verge of leaking "shit water" (I believe that's the technical term) into the kitchen. Sigh. My parents also gently (but thankfully) pointed out a few other issues with the place that Patrick and I were oblivious to because we're idiots who clearly have no business owning a home. We might as well replace our current doorbell with one that plays Scooby Dum sound clips.

But besides the home maintenance issues it was a very nice visit in which they forced us out for walks (one that was 15 km! I mean, WTF!?!) and I retaliated by forcing them to try green smoothies and raw vegan food, to which my father brought up this Far Side cartoon:

Clearly, in my family, we show our love by imposing obnoxious, healthy habits on each other (which we later completely counteract with lots of wine).

In all, it was a lovely time and a good week, even with the evil birthday plumbing surprise.


father of the monkey,  8:16 pm, September 29, 2011  

We enjoyed the visit and you don't have to feel bad about not instinctively knowing everything there is to know about home maintenance!

Nice picture of you! you used some kind of Photoshop or picture effect thing, right?

Ha, ha, ha... I'm so funny, I kill me!

Lemur 8:23 pm, September 29, 2011  

I LOVE the bangs. And happy (belated) birthday! :)

Karen 11:27 pm, September 29, 2011  

Nice hair! You look fab!

CL 6:27 am, September 30, 2011  

Happy Birthday. I don't know you, but you can now add "blog comments" to your pie chart.

Lauren 8:15 am, September 30, 2011  

Happy Birthday!
Your hair looks great, good decision to leave it long!

Susan 10:33 am, September 30, 2011  

Love, love, love the bangs! Great update :) Want to come to Vegas in April?

hippychic 10:52 am, September 30, 2011  

Happy belated birthday, love. Sorry about the shit water.

hippychic 10:55 am, September 30, 2011  

Oh, and the bangs look great; I too have been seduced by Zooey Deschanel's hair--gave myself bangs immediately after seeing 500 Days of Summer.

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Hallebose 4:27 pm, October 25, 2022  

Like the pie chart!
Did you do a breakdown of the in person greetings by location? Data gourmet🌿

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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