27 Nov 2005

Bad Blogger, Bad!

I admit - I suck!

I've had a few late days at work so when I get home, I can't even bear to look at my computer. Not can I think of what to blog about. Certain co-workers have provided me with lots of blog-worthy material, but as you know, I can't outright discuss it for fear of being discovered as the two-faced mega cow I am, so I hope to find a way to weave those stories into other ones someday soon.

As for my day-to-day realities, they've pretty much been the same: crazy people on the subway, a running tap in our shower that the landlord keeps forgetting to fix, not sticking to my diet, Patrick eating ice cream at strange hours of the day and night, and now - the onset of the holiday season.

I got my first dose of holiday shoppers yesterday when Patrick and I went to see Harry Potter in a theatre that is unfortunately in a mall. I love to shop. LOVE IT. But holiday shopping with holiday shoppers gets me all jaw-clenchy. Fantasies of turning my fist into a crowd-dispersing battering ram become a real temptation. It's not just the sheer masses of people (and yes, that is horrible) but the quality of individuals in those masses. They're awful!

They're screaming things into their cellphones like "LISTEN! DECIDE NOW WHAT YOU WANT TO GET YOUR BLOODY SISTER FOR CHRISTMAS AND STOP WASTING MY TIME. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF ALWAYS HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT DECIDING WHAT SHIT TO GET FOR THE FAMILY. MAYBE THIS YEAR I'LL STAY HOME AND YOU CAN DEAL WITH THIS HOLIDAY BULLSHIT! I DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO HAVE SUCH A HORRIBLE, SELFISH ATTITUDE!"

They're people that have no concept of keeping their children within arms reach and yet glare at the random stranger who has unintentionally become a wall of ass that said children have run into head first.

They're people that cut you off and then walk at such slow speeds that it can't even be considered walking anymore. It's more like toddling - where a person lazily shifts their weight from one foot to the other like a pendulum that ever so slowly propels themselves forward.

I could go on, but I'll save it for another post. Unless I can do all my shopping online this season, I have a feeling there will be much more of this to come. Le sigh.

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Need words? I'm a Toronto-based freelance writer who injects great ones into blogs, websites, magazines, ads and more. So many services, one lovely Jen (with one 'n').

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