Dear Baby Dyke,

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is your first Pride; I can see that you are very jazzed on the rainbow motifs, there's a thrilled look in your eyes that I'm guessing has never been there before, and boy, is your posture ever great! I'm happy for you and hope this weekend serves to further your sense of confidence, belonging, and a comfort with your own skin and mind. And, hey, double points if you manage to get laid, too!

But I'm going to give you this tip, and it's important, so please listen:

When you randomly and loudly holler at me while I'm walking by that I have "nice tits":
a) Duh.
b) It's just as lame and off-putting as when a man does it.

Have some pride, grasshopper. Now go have fun.

Photo borrowed with zero permission from
QueeriesMag.com and R.J. Martin