12 Sep 2005

Confessions Of A Weirdo

As people that have issues with their weight know, what the scale says can really affect your mood. It’s dumb, but you can wake up all happy and whistley and thinking cute thoughts about yourself, only to have it all dashed by a stupid number.

To avoid this, I try to only weigh myself on my weigh-in day so that only one of seven days has the potential to be bitch-slapped.

There is, however, one thing I do that concerns my body and it’s something I’ve done each and every morning without fail since I was in my teens. It’s one of those things that I have no idea how it started and will probably classify me as effed-up to anyone reading this, as I can’t recall anyone ever admitting they do this as well (but maybe it's like the thigh burning thing, so who knows?).

Every morning when I wake up and am laying in bed, I rub my hands below the belly button but above the area I refer to as “Gina” and feel my hipbones. By no means do my bones jut out of my body (and I don’t want them to) – but when you’re lying there I guess tummy fat shifts somewhere else (to Gina?) and allows the hipbones to become more pronounced – and it provides a weird happiness for me.

Anyway, as of late, I’ve been quite pleased with my Morning Hip Rub. Years of molesting my hips has honed my skills in sensing any change, and I’m happy to note that my body is moving in the right direction because the bones are just a touch less flesh-flooded.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day and regardless of what it says I'm not going to let it spoil any mood I have. Make no bones about it.

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